I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Randomize
