Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
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