Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
