i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
