therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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