The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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