You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
