belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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