from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
