Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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