So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
