smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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