hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
