just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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