Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
