It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
