So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
