Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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