biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
