well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
