i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
