I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
