do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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