Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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