i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
