Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
She said her name was "party"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
