I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
