My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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