Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
