The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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