i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
