i love accidental penises.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize