Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
