I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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