You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
