She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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