Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
