This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
