end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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