Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
