she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
