I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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