Got a toothbrush?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
