You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
