ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
