She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
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