Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
