I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
