Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Randomize
