You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
