i just identified you from a description of your pipe
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
