her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
