idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My pussy is not your playground.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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