i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
