the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
there was a trapeze. enough said
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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