Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
