it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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