some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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