Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize